The Ultimate Character Quiz
How do you feel about a kick in the nuts?
I will not surrender to violence lightly.
I love it! I kicked someone in the nuts just a moment ago.
I usually crack my nuts otherwise.
Nuts crushed by a kick are but a misrepresentation of the grains ground by the mills of reality.
Do you like milk?
Only if it is coconut and in a pinacolada
My attitude towards milk is meaningless compared to the endless struggle of any individual in this world.
As a mammal I have no other choice but to like it.
Milk is for pussies. I can tolerate it only in my coffee.
What would you do if you turned out to be a robot?
I wouldn’t mind, I follow the Asimov’s Laws of Robotics anyway.
It’s impossible, I’m neither an owl nor a cuckoo.
You are trapped in a bear trap, What do you do?
I bite my leg of like a wolf would.
This is rubbish. No bear is smart enough to trap me.
This does happen a lot when I’m drunk...
A bear trap is a physical emanation of our own reality, which stops us from progressing.
How do you feel when someone beats you in a game?
It never came up. I’m the top dog.
True men never play games.
The whole concept of competition is irrelevant and futile in our weary lives.
No matter who won we should celebrate the game with a friendly drink.
Do you ever feel threatened or insecure?
I can be bullied only up to a certain point past which I do the bullying.
A few tequila shots numb the fears.
Why should I be afraid of anything? When you think about it,
death is the worst that could happen and death is inevitable anyway.
I piss on puny threats.
How would you chat up a partner?
Brace yourself, bitch!
How about we start with a drink or two first? Oh, I meant for me…
Sharing the burden of life with another being is too cruel too consider.
Hello! Have you met Ted?